Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Is my Dahlia a happy baby?

I read this statement from Babycenter
[Like any parent who wants the best for her children, Trish Bragg has done everything she can to make sure Isabel, Charlie, and Madeline are healthy, have plenty of stimulating activities to fill their day, and are loved unconditionally. Yet, like many, she struggles with parenting's million-dollar question: Are my kids happy? "Among all my friends, that's what we want to know," Bragg says.]

"Happiness isn't something you can give a child like a prettily wrapped present" . A child experts sayings who also stresses the importance of helping kids to develop a set of inner tools where they can rely on throughout life.

If you ask me,I don't have to be an expert in child psychology to impart the inner strength and wisdom it takes to weather life's ups and downs. With patience and flexibility, I  am trying to lay the groundwork for a lifetime of happiness.

My time with Dahlia is very limited to be specific,during the weekdays. In the morning,by 7:30AM she would be joining her friends in school, and by noon or so,Nani will fetch her up. By the time I reach home at 8PM,its already near her bed time. Nonetheless, I still do play with her and chuckles and giggles within that short period of time. And most of the nights.the three of us would converge into a small circle where we would clap our hands singing songs etc. At least there's some mother-father-daughter bonding there or what most experts would call 'connected childhood,' which to my personal opinion is by far the best step to guarantee our little child is happy  for now.
Oh and bath time.SHE LOVES playing with her botol shampu kosong  yellow rubber duck during bath time. This is the time we would girl talk baby talk right from the moment she's in the bath tab until she's out in her bath robe.
As Dahlia matures from a beautiful newborn to a more interactive cheeky 8 months old baby, she is now I would say,  is a master at showing people surround her when something makes her content or upset. Her face lights up in a heart-melting smile when ever I enter the room, or she would wail and sometimes make a 'hugh' sound when someone takes away what ever she is holding. And I noticed that she flips between smiling and crying faster than I can pop a pacifier teething ring in her mouth. 

Linking to the above statement,Im not going to deny and I hope Im not going to get charged phrasing what Im about to write here. I do scold my little Dahlia. For being macam ulat taik not sitting still,for the milk she make bubbles from,for her watching too near to the television,for being such a crying cranky baby when ever she's sleepy. Yes,a mean mother I am. But with no intention of really scold her if you know what I mean. Im still learning on how and when should I start training her on all the yeses and the nos. It crushes my heart every time I see her mouth turned down and her eyebrows arched in the middle each time I scold her. And it even melt my heart at each time,she would raise her arms asking me to hug her tug. Oh my little baby,Mami loves you so much. So much that Im trying my very best to provide the best for you.

Dahlia is learning so many things now : to sit up, crawl, grasp objects, walk, and baby talk. Each accomplishment brings her confidence and satisfaction in her achievement. 

In her first six months, we responded to all her needs.We would run up to her to even a slight whine she made. But after about six months, if I run over at every little hiccup, Im taking away an important learning opportunity for Dahlia. Well, I know this is hard,but sometimes it's good to let babies cry a little as long as you're giving them lots of positive affection and attention the rest of the time. She would cry a little and summon for help by 'hugh-ing' us at every fall she made. We sometimes provoke her by luring with her toys to make her crawl / reach forward. And if she drops her rattle, we usually will not hurry to pick it up.Giving her some time and encouragement to pick it up herself.

As a parent, Im starting to teach Dahlia some discipline and manners.Not to be so hard on her,but we are taking baby steps. We've (Helmi and I) agreed on some techniques such as that we are not going to use the word "NO" directly,instead we are practicing to reason it out "Dahlia,you can not have this,this will hurt your fingers" etc. Ive read on comments from experienced parents that if we keep cruising this good manners in our daily routine, InsyaAllah, the child will follow too. We as the role model plays a very important element in a child's development. I keep reminding my self that!!! :)

*ragam Dahlia yang baru : Geleng kepala each time we say "finish". Wallahualam sama ada she really faham the meaning of the word or she is just mocking us. Apa pun muah to my budak bulat..

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