Thursday, 26 January 2012

My shleeping little sheep

So here I am....sitting back and exhaling deep cracking my most creative way konon-nya to write this post. In the last few weeks, I was in a 'temporary loss of strength and energy' mode resulting from mental tiredness. It has been since Dahlia was diagnosed with high body temperature and all the red spots visibility on her skin followed pulak by husband with his Hand Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD) infection.


 Leaving me all alone to run the house chores. To clean the house. To do the laundry. To bathe,feed, play with Dahlia. To prepare her milk in the middle of the nights..To do almost everything on my own. Tapi yer lah..penat macam mana pun but the will was always there.Alhamdulillah..for my family, I kuat kan semangat. Kalau wife Nabi Muhammad s.a.w boleh berkorban tenaga, why cant I?
An inspiration for me to stay strong.


It was not that Mr Husband refused to give a hand,but with those spotty hands,I dare not lah..nanti tak pasai-pasai the whole family ter-infected. I was very very tired.My eyes were sore.My body ached like it was going to break into pieces.. Allah...To HIM I summoned for strength and help.
 

Now that she is back..she seems like terbawa-bawa perangai "tidur-nak-berpeluk-dukung" . My cheeky girl yang suka menyakat ni, sometimes deliberately buat attempt yang liuk-liuk badan or tonggeng-tonggeng-sembam-muka-kat-carpet to provoke us...(me especially) to hold her up. Papa would say .."Eeeeee...Manja sangat ni".. And she would grin proudly at Papa...



It was the most challenging moment during the days when Dahlia had the fever. She couldn't get enough sleep hence meragam continuously. Her body temperature was high on the first night,and it deteriorated on the next day, her cough made it worst. My poor darling. Macam kita la, sakit - sakit badan,mengeluh pusing sana tak kena pusing sini tak kena. She would 'demand' me to cuddle her in my arms and rock her to sleep. She would show tantrum by crying out loud sampai berjumbai-jumbai air mata,air telinga and air hingus bagai if I was not by her side.Macam apa je yang dah tersepit!!Not even if I was 1 meter away..yes..1 meter away!!!.
Alahai...penat nya Mami Dahlia..
 


Sometimes..Ok I tipu..MOST of the nights pula I would scold Dahlia to sleep. I would raise my voice and tepuk tapak kaki Dahlia many times. Sumbat botol susu like meraban-raban. Gigit her chubby cheeks banyak kali sampai dia rimas. Jegir mata kat Dahlia semua ada ..sampai cemik-cemik mukanya..kira macam monster gitu lah I every night..And each time jugak lah, she would just look into my eyes and smitten me the sweetest smile walaupun matanya dah bergenang with tears.Adoiii...cair ... :')

Ya Allah,the remorse was all over my body...Terasa berdosa betul my doings. She is just a child and she know nothing...Sayang Mami ni...You are my precious gem that Allah is sharing you with me. Hearing to my heartbeats that you recognizes is part of your routine,and yours are for mine too baby... No matter how I many times had I scolded you, you would still come to me ..Dahlia baby, Im sorry.


So here is another reminder I made to myself,to be a better mom and muslim and to treasure my baby much because who knows, she may one day leave me..

Ya Allah, kau panjangkan lah umur anakku, jadikan dia seorang anak yang soleh taat kepadaMu dan kedua ibubapanya,seorang yang sihat walafiat sejahtera dan Kau murahkan lah rezekinya,sesungguhnya kepada Engkau aku memohon segalanya ..amin...


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