Friday, 7 June 2013

Sampai Hati

Bismillahirahmanirahim....

Baru-baru ini,I came across a few quotes and phrases about keeping marriages work . Some very inspirational..some makes me cry ..some are simply plain and lame words..But above all, mostly membuatkan I terfikir..It has been so accustomed that it is always the wives/ladies yang selalu dinasihatkan to maintain/make better of a marriage/a relationship...

Cuba lihat contoh screen shot I took from FB this morning....
(* I hv nothing againts ustaz azhar idrus ya.. )


Sekali imbas the message is infact very true..indeed ia disaran in Islam (berhias untuk husband)...but lets view this message from a different angle with the actual scenario di akhir zaman ini...

Alhamdulillah..kebanyakan isteri memang ada yang cuba sedaya habis untuk kelihatan cantik for thier husbands...ada yang ke spa,ada yang ke saloon rambut, ada yang ke yoga classes, bersenam etc ...semata-mata supaya suami setia pada dia...Well ada juga some wives yang ter'over' sikit berhias..tidak dinafikan sometimes kami juga lalai dan terlupa tujuan kami berhias...yes, itu perlu kami perbaiki and emphasize :)

And alhamdulillah..we can see many of our friends yang berhijrah penampilan after marriage..and let me say this out loud...deep down dalam hati si husbands, ada perasaan bangga di dalam diri mereka kerana mengahwini wanita yang menjaga aurat..yang menjaga penampilan hanya untuk tatapannya sahaja...yes..alhamdulillah...

But,little did we know that some husbands out there ..when they are among themselves,dalam pada dia bersyukur isteri mereka bertudung menjaga penampilan and maruah diri,they too are fascinated by melihat perempuan lain (secara sengaja/suka ria)...samada in person mahupun via the media tech. Work places,magazines, news, FB, Youtube...and what ever else.....Only Allah knows how have they entertained themselves with :(

Dear husbands,how do you think the wives would feel about this? .."Ala...bukan ada apa-apa pun..".."ala..pandangan pertama itu rezeki kan"..."Saje je..bukan nak kahwin dengan dia pun..." ."Ala bukan I sorang yang buat, yang lain pun buat juga"..are the most common responses...sampainya hatimu wahai kaum suami.....kami hanya tersenyum menahan sebak ..if only you know..

Yes..your word "SAJE" memang sangat bersahaja until you failed to see our sorrow eyes...it may meant nothing to you, but ingat lah, itu juga we consider it as part of your kesetian yang perlu dijaga..bukan kah kita semua sedia tahu wanita itu hatinya sangat fragile comparing to the male? Watching videos of other ladies sambil tersenyum simpul di dalam hati? Ber-borak, bergelak tawa,berWhatsApp, ber-WeChat with other women ..ada pula up to the level men-screenshot and shared photos of other women among themselves and complimenting beramai2 pula with such heartbreaking words.."Mantap".."Cantik siot" ..."Lawa gila"...."Sedap peluk"..sampainya hati si suami to even have these thoughts ...all you know,while si suami asyik melayan gembira,makhluk sah yang bergelar isteri di rumah sedang mengejar masa untuk menyediakan sepinggan nasi untuk si suami..sampainya hati mu suami..

And some are making fun pula of the teachings of Islam by flippantly say "Dapat pahala niat kahwin pun ok" .....Sampainya hati...terasa seperti gugur jantung ditarik graviti bumi..If only you could see the tears in your wife's heart...if only you could feel how we would feel about these jokes...

Some claims "boys will be boys"...kalau itu lah jawapan pihak suami, is that how you would want your future son in laws to treat your daughters? Are you sure you will not get angry if they do that to your princesses? I doubt it :)

All I could say to husbands yang sedikit 'terlalai' seperti ini...."Sampainya hati"...Your wives menjaga rumah, memasak, mengemas, penat lelah mengurus rumah sehinggakan kadang-kala hendak minum seteguk air pun terlupa.. she is totally all out for u,but you would not bother about that kan? and yet she dresses and berhias to please you..usah dikira lagi the pain when she gave birth to your offsprings..And your social manners are as such? Sampainya hati...

This is why, when I see such statement like what is in the picture above,I told myself, it is always the women yang dipesan/diajar untuk kejarkan suami...bila difikirkan apa la gunanya si isteri berhias kalau ini cara mereka berterima kasih? Astaghfirullahulazim...hanya sabar sahajalah yang selalu menjadi teman...
Sometimes I have this wild guess that there is only a handful of man nowadays yang BETUL-BETUL menjaga rumahtangga...not because they are not qualified to...but it is because they choose not to...Its all about pilihan nafsu...telah disebut in the al-Quran too..

Perhaps, ramai husbands yang mungkin tidak pernah terlintas dihati mereka.."if I can talk and feel and lust and desire for other women besides my wife like what Im doing now,perhaps,other man too would feel the same towards my wife..other men at her work place?other man from her childhood friends?Atau mungkin other men from her previous work places etc?her ex boyfriends perhaps?Even worse, my own friend sendiri yang berkenan dengan my wife?...what if  they are serious about getting my wife from me?"

Selalu I tertanya...have the husbands have no compassion onto the efforts taken by thier wives? Si isteri is trying her best to do/be the best to keep the pillar of the family strong..mungkin kaum suami tidak sedar sebenarnya bahawa si isteri secara tidak langsungnya sedang berusaha menjaga si suami dari mendapat dosa..tetapi apakan daya, most husbands lupa akan itu semua..lalai akan itu semua...terlupa akan taklik/janji/vows yang pernah mereka lafazkan dahulu...yang berbunyi seperti ini.....

"Aku terima nikahnya dgn si dia binti si ayah dia dengan mas kahwinnya RM" 

The true meaning of that simple sentence above...

"Aku tanggung dosa-dosa si dia dari ibu bapanya, apa saja dosa yang dia buat,dari dedah aurat hingga ke tinggalnya solat, aku tanggung dan bukan lagi ibu bapanya tanggung dan aku tanggung semua dosa bakal anak-anak aku. Kalau gagal, maka aku fasik, dayus & aku rela masuk neraka dan malaikat Zabaniyah melibas aku hingga pecah badan aku”

Im writting this not to meng-aibkan para husbands..but with Allah's will, to wake us up from day dreaming and to amplify our 'masjid' yang kita bina....ingatlah wahai saudara, ada disebut dalam khutbah terakhir Nabi Muhammad S.A.W, whereby baginda (pbuh) ada menyebutkan lebih dari satu ayat about menjaga wanita(wives)..Im sure you already know about this bukan?..perhaps kaum suami belum meluangkan masa to really comprehend what our beloved Nabi Muhammad(pbuh) is trying to tell us...Jika kebajikan wanita dikira perkara remeh,mengapakah ia diingatkan di dalam khutbah terakhir baginda(pbuh)? 

Lets together work our marriage hand in hand,shall we?...both husband n wife...bertepuk sebelah tangan tidak akan berbunyi bukan?Sama lah juga,jikalau si isteri sahaja yang perlu berhias tetapi si suami tidak 'menghiasi' diri sendiri, mahligai kita tidak akan berseri bukan?

You may refer to these links for the content of the last khutbah...

or


Wallahualam..











2 comments:

eLLe said...

i lurve ur post....mcm nak share gak je kat fb..hehe...

lela nasir said...

babe..sila2..sama2 share ilmu :)